so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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