the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
