we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
