she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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