I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
