There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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