Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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