This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
