Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
