I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I hate all girls vehemently.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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