From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
