just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
