If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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