I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize