weddingsv make me drug and hornr
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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