I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
