i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
