I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
