what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
