i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize