so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
