There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i think i have herpe
just one?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Randomize
