Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
