Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
