Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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