this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
