either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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