My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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