ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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