So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you would pick up someone in the library
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
