Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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