can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
