Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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