From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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