i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
