SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
