When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
