omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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