I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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