i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
