Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
