Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize