would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
