you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
