So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize