i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
