Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
its not stalking. its research.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
