I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
