Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
