Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
