I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize