the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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