I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
