i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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