O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's never too late to be topless.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
