1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
