PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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