you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize