I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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