Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
