you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
