You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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