Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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