Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
40s are totally the cure
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
