ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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