Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I want her autograph on my taint
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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